Proper 19A – George Yandell
From the Exodus reading – Israel is saved by a tsunami that God uses to kill all the Egyptian warriors and their armaments. God was angry that pharaoh had enslaved and mistreated the Hebrew people for generations. We are created in God’s image, so anger comes naturally to us. Anger and forgiveness are two poles of human nature. The one, anger, is a natural human emotion. Some child psychologists think it’s anger at not getting our way as one- and two-year-olds that creates distinctive, innovative character in adults. How we cope with our anger makes us either disciplined or despairing, self-blaming or other-blaming. Anger drives much of our behaviors throughout life. One mentor of mine said that anger is a resultant emotion- that the primary emotion is fear, and very often anger rises unbidden out of our fears.
Forgiveness is an acquired attitude of action. Where anger happens, it comes unbidden into us, as do all emotions. Forgiveness is a learned behavior, learned at great price. Forgiveness requires sacrificing anger and pride, and accepting others, and God, in humility.
Is it any wonder that so much of human energy is devoted to getting even? You and I spend ½ of our tax dollars helping our country prepare for revenge. We have defensive weapons and systems that keep our capability for revenge as high as possible. Anger is a defensive emotion. It helps animals survive when threatened. The Medieval Church labeled anger as one of the 7 deadly sins. The emblem for anger in the middle ages was the wolf. Being angry is hard enough, but when it grows and festers, it eats away at our souls like a starving wolf. A person consumed with anger it not capable of forgiveness.
Forgiveness has been called a God-like trait. “To err is human, to forgive divine.” In truth, forgiveness means rising toward holiness in daily living. The effect of one human forgiving another is almost unbelievable. Human forgiving, reconciling ourselves to others, comes as close as we can to the compassion Jesus lived out.
Today’s gospel describes in graphic terms the effects of forgiveness, and of unreconciled anger. In response to Peter’s question, “Lord if another member of the church sins against me, how often shall I forgive?” Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving servant. Jesus contrasts the responses of two figures in the story, the secular ruler and the first slave. The ruler cancels a debt of $10 million in today’s economy.
The slave then encounters another who owes him $100, and treats him legally, but without forgiveness, and then in turn the first slave is dealt with harshly because of his unforgiving actions. Jesus shows that forgiveness cannot be compromised without undesirable consequences.
In Matthew Jesus demands that we think of forgiveness as a life and death proposition. “Should you not have had mercy on your fellow, as I had mercy on you?” The learned behavior of forgiveness is never easy. It demands that we pay a high price, as did the ruler. Learning forgiveness, forgetting our anger, humbles us. It’s the path that builds up the spirit of God within us, and within our communities. Forgiveness and showing mercy are the highest activities of human aspiration. They spring from hearts yearning to love God fully.
I believe forgiveness has 3 stages. 1) Accepting my anger with another and identifying it. I have to know what I’m feeling in order to channel my emotion in disciplined loving. Robert Hughes in his book The Culture of Complaint says “I must hold no one else responsible for my failings but me.” 2) Putting myself in the other’s place. Often, if I use my imagination about someone I’m angry with, I discover that my impatience, frustration or rage is triggered by his rage, and I can begin to empathize with him, and figure out how to care for him in spite of his anger. 3) GO to the person I’m angry with, tell him, and ask to talk about it to work out reconciliation. This is the hardest step- last week’s gospel demanded it, though- do you remember? Forgiving someone from my heart demands face to face reconciling. Forgiveness shrinks the egos of both the forgiven and the forgiving one and allows room for Christ to expand within us and within the communities in which we operate.
Richard Rohr has said, “The most amazing fact about Jesus, unlike almost any other religious founder, is that he found God in disorder and imperfection—and told us that we must do the same or we would never be content on this earth.”
The parable and the words of Jesus indicate that the faith community is to express forgiveness freely and continually, over and over, without ceasing. Forgiving is not just not punishing; it is a positive, powerful, transforming action.
Forgiveness always works. Even if I seek out someone for whom the problems between us don’t allow him to accept reconciliation now, I have opened a door, and I can go on in life without the unfocussed, unhealthy anger and guilt dragging me down. That’s the good news- our Lord is incredibly, recklessly merciful, and forgives all our debts. Our task is simple- we must learn to sacrifice our pride and our desire for retribution in order to live as forgiven partners with Jesus.